I, along with everyone else, can say for certain that 2020 did not turn out the way I planned. I’m also very happy that I didn’t decide to be cheeky and pick “vision” as my word of the year. Because for a moment, I was thinking about it.
This year saw a lot of change, and not just because of the pandemic. The year started off with a bang by moving to my apartment, all by myself. Living alone was something I’d dreamed about for a long time, and it wasn’t until the end of 2019 that I finally felt I was ready. Not only was I financially secure enough to do so, but I finally felt like I had a good support outside of myself, but here in Austin, to live alone.
Two months later, I was trying to figure out how to move my work onto my dining room table. When we all went home, we thought it would be a few weeks, maybe two months. Now, nine months later, my day job isn’t expected to go back to the office until at least March 2021. I suspect it’ll be later.
I’m super grateful to have the job, especially in an industry that saw growth in this year. I know most people haven’t been that lucky. However, even with a job, there are moments of frustration. There have been plenty of tech issues this year that have frustrated me several times over.
Part of the frustration comes from the isolation of working from home and living alone. The moments I do get to see people are often tinged with sadness, realizing I don’t know the next time I’ll get to see someone again.
Not everything has been a mess though. As much as this year has sucked, there were good things. I’m lucky to still be able to afford rent, to have a job. I’m grateful for the friendships that grew stronger this year, and I’m super grateful for my boyfriend. In a year that could easily break up couples who didn’t live together (and those who might), that was never a moment where we were even close.
There’s something so simple about my relationship. We’re together and we’re committed to each other because I choose to date him and he chooses to date me every day. In a year where nothing was easy or simple or made sense, my relationship did. We had rough patches, as everyone does, but there is this sense of comfort I feel knowing I have him in my corner. There aren’t enough words to describe how grateful I am to have him in my life. I am sappy, but he is not, and I might be getting a little teary-eyed writing this.
While this year felt like a step back in terms of my health – there was a round of new medicine-related weight gain right before the quarantine weight gain hit – I also took steps to take care of me, starting with therapy.
Going back to therapy was something that I’ve felt the need to do for a few years now but never did. The pandemic finally changed that and I’m so glad I did. Please, do not take shame in taking care of your mental health you are worth it.
2020 is a year that I am grateful to leave behind. While there were good moments, I think we can all agree, this year was a mess.